Aramak v. 2.1 (ajestersjourney) wrote in interlake,
Aramak v. 2.1

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Come on kiddies, Make me proud.

38 Survival Activities For a Boring Class

If you're serious about combating boredom during class, these tips are for you. Please, don't think twice before engaging in any of the following activities.

1. During the lecture, throw a Frisbee past your professor and yell: FETCH! When he doesn't do anything, scold him: "That's a bad professor! Very bad!"

2. Ask the professor if this class comes with closed captioning.

3. When the professor calls your name in roll call, and your name is Smith, correct him and say: "Ahem, it's pronounced Bergowitz."

4. Come to class drunk and loudly proclaim in the middle of the lecture: "YOU GUYS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS!"

5. Tell the professor you're dyslexic and claim you need the answers to the test first, so you can work backwards to find the questions.

6. Bring a secretary to class. If the professor asks you a question, have the secretary explain that you are in a meeting.

7. Play Tetris in class, and every few minutes scream out "Fucking blocks!"

8. Respond to every question with "Nice pants." For example: Who was the king of France in 800? "Nice pants." What city did USA drop the atomic bomb on? "Nice pants." What is the Dockers slogan? "Nice pants." (Well, it doesn't work with everything)

9. Address your professor as "Tiger". "Is that gonna be on the exam, Tiger?"

10. Laugh uncontrollably while the professor talks about the oppression of slaves.

11. Ride into class on a goat. Act nonchalant.

12. Heckle the professor during attendance.

13. If someone tries to sit in the empty seat next to you scream out: "YOU'RE SITTING ON HARRY!"

14. If the professor asks you to answer a math problem, answer it in letters, explaining that you're allergic to numbers.

15. Interrupt the lecture with, "Do you dance with the devil under the pale moonlight?"

16. Chew down on your blue pen and get ink on your mouth. Casually explain to the professor that you were feasting on Smurfs.

17. Interrupt the class every 5 minutes with: "So where were the bodies hidden?"

18. Wear one of those disguises with the glasses, nose and moustache, and refer to the professor as "a stinka."

19. Insist that you wrote the textbook and that chapter 5-8 is all lies.

20. Hold up a big posterboard with JOHN 3:16 written on it.

21. Write your papers in IM language.

For example:
in ww2, french ppl didnt fight
they were 2 slop
then germany came and wuz like
french ppl lata!

22. Wear an eye patch to class. Change which eye it covers every 30 seconds.

23. Enter class with an entourage.

24. If the professor asks you a question, tell him you forgot to put in your contacts that morning and can't hear him.

25. Bring an alarm clock to class, have it go off, and repeatedly hit snooze.

26. Sit next to the kid that nods "yes" constantly while the teacher is talking, and continuously shake your head "no" during the lecture.

27. Excuse yourself from class and explain you're having "woman problems". This is especially effective if you're a guy.

28. Show up 10 minutes late, and yell out: "Stupid daylight savings time. I meant to be 10 minutes late TOMORROW!"

29. When writing a paper, plagiarize a trashy romance novel. Demand that Socrates did, in fact, have luscious breasts and milky white skin and you deserve an A.

30. Email your professor with an erotic letter complete with pictures, then send a followup with the words: "Oops, wrong email."

31. Bring in cabaret dancers and answer your questions in song.

32. If the professor asks you to answer a problem on the board, try doing it in pen as opposed to chalk, then start crying about how your pen doesn't work.

33. While the professor is talking, walk around the room. When he pauses, frantically try to find a seat. If they are all filled, yell out, "Damnit, I suck at musical chairs."

34. If the professor sneezes, say nothing. Ten minutes later, blurt out: God Bless You!

35. Show up to class in a pirate uniform. In your best pirate accent, yell out: "Arrrr, I demand mutiny!"

36. Draw yellow lines on the floor near your desk and put up a sign that says: PARKING ONLY FOR [YOUR NAME HERE].

37. Come to class in a Klan hood. Then remark to the professor, "Hey man, great to see you at the meeting last night."

38. Get to class before the professor, and station a bouncer at the door. Have the bouncer demand the professor pay a cover.

That's all for now. Hope these tips make class more enjoyable. If not, just skip.

Let me know how they work out for ya ;)
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